Do the people around you lift you up or pull you down?
Over the last few days alone I have listened to two of my coaching clients telling me how people have pulled them down.
One person is planning and building an ambitious business and was told by a family member that her plan would fail.
The other submitted some copy for peer review and was told her copy was no good.
Neither of these experiences were positive. In fact, to different degrees, each of them was damaging.
And this is something we all have to be aware of: as freelancers, working alone at home, we are hugely vulnerable to negative feedback.
It isn’t this way for people working in an office.
In an office environment, if someone pulls us down there will always be someone else who can lift us back up.
When we work as freelancers, we work alone.
It can be really tough to get back up once someone has knocked us down. Our self-doubt and insecurities can easily be triggered and are hard to put aside.
My strategy is always to minimize my exposure to negative feedback.
For instance, if I want someone to review some writing or an idea, I’m careful about whom I choose. I choose someone whose opinion I really respect. I choose someone who is smarter than I am, or who has more experience in that area. And I choose someone who can deliver critical feedback without making it negative.
Another thing I do is filter any negative feedback I receive when I haven’t even asked for it. I’ll ask myself how qualified that person is to judge. And I’ll ask myself whether they thought deeply enough about what I’m doing to really come up with a useful opinion.
In other words, I protect myself.
I know that as a freelancer working alone I am vulnerable to criticism and nay-sayers. So I do what it takes to protect myself ego.
This doesn’t mean that I totally hide from people and never ask for opinions.
Outside opinions can be hugely useful.
I just make sure that the opinions I look for are going to be constructive.
Do you want help in protecting your ideas and ambitions from negative feedback? Find out about my coaching service...
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